To Be a Teenager
by Bri P
Summary: A bunch of unrelated one shots pertaining to the "Teenager Posts" from tumblr. They're super short and kinda dumb... Lots of OCs. Plz review! :D
1. Chapter 1

**To Be a Teenager**

_**A bunch of unrelated one shots pertaining to the "Teenager Posts" from tumblr. **_

_**A few things: Harry and Ginny adopted Teddy. Victoire is married to my OC, so is Teddy. I have a lot of OCs… And I made it so that from Teddy to Hugo, they're closer in age.**_

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Teenager Post# 982: Alarm Clock: Because every morning should start with a heart attack.

It was 6:30 am on a Tuesday and the Slytherin 5th year boy's dorms was silent. The silence was broken. BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! Four of the five boys that live there jolted awake in various ways. Two boys fell off their beds. One jumped right up and grabbed his wand. The other sat up groggily and looked around confused. The fifth boy in the dorm was still fast asleep. Finally one of the boys got his bearings and turned the annoying alarm clock off.

"Oh my god! I hate that thing!" Al Potter said as he got off the floor and grabbed his glasses.

"Me too," agreed Jacob Montague, setting his wand back on his night table. Luc Zabini, who had turned the blasted thing off, yawned and shook his head.

"I don't know how he sleeps through that thing!" He pointed to the blond head of Scorpius Malfoy that was sticking out from underneath his blankets. Al rolled his eyes at the black boy.

"You know he turns his hearing aid off at night so he doesn't start his day off with a freaking heart attack." Luc pouted.

"Well it's not fair…"

"Alarm Clocks: Because every morning should begin with a mini heart attack."


	2. Chapter 2

**Teenager Post # 4882: "Hey, remember when you had a crush on…" "NOOOOOOO…"**

The Gryffindor Common room was buzzing with boredom. The Gryffindors were on lockdown. No one was aloud in or out of Gryffindor Tower. No Hogsmeade visit, no quidditch practice, nothing. It was all the Weasley family's fault to. They just had to start that food fight. Headmistress Baxter was so furious that she punished the hole house. Said family (and their friends) were sitting in a secluded corner trying to stay out of the "public" eye.

"I'm SO bored!" Jamie Potter cried out. His cousins and friends glared at him.

"It's all you fault we're stuck in the tower! You should be bored," snapped Dominique.

"Hey you guys didn't have to do it."

"We didn't! You yelled 'WEASLEY FOOD FIGHT' before we could stop you!" Lily barked.

"Well sorry." It was quiet for a while before Freddie started smirking.

"Hey, Jamie, remember when you had a crush on—"

"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO I DO NOT!" Roxie caught on to what her twin was getting at.

"I think you do. That was a fun time for us. When you liked Pr—"

"NO!" Lily leaned in closer, trying to get black mail information on her older brother.

"Who did he like?"

"Oh, he just liked Professor Baxter." Their circle was silent before loud laughter was heard.

"You." _Laugh_. "Had a crush." _Laugh._ "On." _Laugh._ "A professor?" _Laugh_. Jamie pouted and blushed.

"Shut up. It was third year! I was young!"


	3. Chapter 3

Teenager Post # 3637: Me: *breaths* Mom: "I'm sick and tired of your attitude!"

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James: **bold ;**Lily:Underlined ; Albus: _Italics; _Teddy:_Underline italics_

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It was summer break and the Potter house quiet… That's not a good thing. If you walked into the Potter house you would find Lily, Al, and Jamie all sitting in the living room being as quiet as they could be, writing to each other on dry erase boards.

I'm scared.

**Me too, Lils.**

_What did dad do?_

Hell, what did Teddy do? 

Suddenly the fireplace flared green and the oldest Potter child, Teddy stepped out. He held up his own dry erase board.

_I got the SOS. What's up with mom? _His younger siblings shrugged.

"Lily! Come set the table!" Ginny called from the kitchen. Lily's eyes widened.

"Ok! I'm coming!" She shouted back to her mother. "She's gonna kill me!" She hissed to her brothers. They urged her to go. Lily walked into the kitchen cautiously. She could see her brothers watching, hidden, from the door way. She sighed. Ginny whipped around, her skirt flying out around her.

"I am SICK of that attitude of yours! It better change young lady, or else you will not leave this house for the rest of the summer!" Lily's eyes widened. The boys let out odd sounds, like a cross between a laugh and a gasp. Ginny turned towards them. "And you three! What have I told you about just standing there! Don't do it! Have I taught you nothing!? You know what? All of you out of my sight! NOW!" Lily and the boys bolted upstairs just as the front door opened. Once they reached the top, they heard their father.

"Evening Love. How's your day been?"

"Don't you give me that Harry Potter! It's all your fault!"

"What?"

"You know what!" The kids looked at each other.

"Poor Dad."


	4. Chapter 4

**Teenager Post #3011: I'm not fat, my stomachs just 3D.**

It was Sunday in June. That meant a Weasley family dinner. Most of the Weasley grandchildren were lounging in one of the old bedrooms turned living room; it had been pronounced their room. Matt Chang enter the room with a pregnant Victoire waddling behind him. She slumped into one of the many comfortable arm chairs.

"God, I'm so fat," She complained.

"Well hello to you too," Molly said, rolling her eyes.

"Hi. Now did you all not hear me? I said I'm fat!"

"Your not fat, you stomachs just 3D!" Hugo chimed cheerfully. Victoire turned and glared at him.

"Did I ask you!?"

"Well technically—"

"Shut up!"

"Well then."


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I'm black not white. i'm broke not rich. I don't own Harry Potter.**

**I forgot to mention that i made Scorpius deaf. He has magical hearing aids, but sometimes they break and Madam Pomfrey has to fix them. Its magic... don't question it! xD.**

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**Teenager Post # 3979: That awkward moment when the teacher is looking for volunteers and you accidentally make eye contact. **

"Now, Who can tell me the incantation for the shield charm?" Professor Johnson, the DADA professor asked his 5th year class. Scorpius Malfoy looked around him to see if anyone knew. As he looked around the classroom, he met the eyes of the intimidating professor. Scorpius then knew that he was screwed.

"Mr. Malfoy, do you know the answer?" Scorpius decided to play his deaf card. He stared at the man.

"Mr. Malfoy?" He blinked again. "Mr. Malfoy, can you hear me?" Blink. "Mr. Potter will you take Mr. Malfoy to the hospital wing please?"

"Of course professor." Al grabbed Scorpius by the arm and pulled him to the door. As the door closed behind them, Scorpius broke into quiet giggles. Al turned to him.

"You could hear the entire time couldn't you?"

"Of course. But I met his eye and I didn't want to answer so… you know being deaf has its perks sometimes…"


	6. Chapter 6

**Big Thanks to my TWO reviewers: TurnToPage495 and StellaCastellen! StellaCastellen gave me the idea to put the post at the end of the chapter so from now on it shall be that way! :D BTW I still don't own Harry Potter. **

Lily Potter walked through her living room one night during the summer. At night, when she walked past a window, she usually didn't look out of it; or at least she tried not to. Tonight she was not successful. She couldn't resist the temptation to look out of her window.

As she looked, something looked back… She screamed. Then she realized what, or rather who, it was.

"JAMES!" She shouted. James was looking at her evenly with a smile on his face through the window pane.

"Hi Lils! How ya been?" She just glared at the naughty boy…

_**Teenager Post # 2388: Why I don't look out the window at night- 1% I'm afraid of the dark. The other 99% I might see a face looking at me.**_

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**Tell me, Who would you guys like to see in upcoming chapters? **


	7. Teenager Facts 1: Internet

So the Wizarding world has caught up with the 21 centrury. They have internet, phones, computers, cars(though they still don't use those a lot), and every other thing we have now, technology wise.

_Teenager Facts_

_**1. Internet is a daily need**_

"Lily! What's your wi-fi password?" Dominique yelled to her cousin.

"Why? Go to your own house to use wi-fi."

"B-but I have to update my Wizbook status! I haven't been on since this morning! I need to see what's going on in the world!"

"Then read the paper!"

"No! Now give me you password before I pass out from lack of internet use!"


	8. Teenager Facts 2: Waking Up

_Teenager Facts_

_**2. Hate Waking up Early**_

"Lily wake up! We're going to be late for class!"

"Nooooo! Me want sleep!"

"Lily! You have to get up!"

"NO!"

"Don't make me get THE bucket…"

"Get the stupid bucket, I'M NOT GETTING UP!"

… … …

"AAAAAAHHHHHH!"

"Told you I'd get the bucket.


	9. Teenager Facts 3: Hate Math Love Money

**Ok last chapter for tonight! :) I still don't own Harry Potter.**

_Teenager Facts_

_**3. Math but like counting money- Freddie and Louis**_

"Man I hate arithmancy!" Freddie complained to his cousins.

"Dude so do I! Why did we take it again?" Louis asked.

"I don't know… Oh wait yes I do! It was cuz Aliyah and Aleta did…"

"Oh yeah…."

"Hey guys!" Jamie called.

"Sup?"

"You'll never guys how much Weasley stuff I sold today!"

"That much? Well let's get to countin' those coins!" Freddie said rubbing his hands together. Louis had a stupid grin on his face.

"I love counting money…"


	10. Teenager Facts 4: Dislike Being Compared

Ok this chapter is not a funny one, it's a little more on the sirius side... (See what i did there? xD)

_Teenager Facts_

**_4. Dislike being compared- Al_**

Albus Severus Potter. That was his name and he hated it. Everyone thought he needed to live up to his name and his looks. They needed to understand that he was his own person. He was not Albus Severus Potter; the next headmaster of Hogwarts, newest savior of the wizarding world. He was Al Potter; quiet, shy, Slytherin, bookworm, second son of Harry Potter. He was destined to do his own things and make a name for himself all on his own. And everyone would see that if they looked past his name. He wished they would.


	11. Teenager Facts 5: Sleep is a Hobby

Disclaimer: i Still don't own HP.

_Teenaer Facts_

**_5. Sleeping is a hobby-James_**

"I want sleep," James whined.

"Jamie, you have slept all week! How much more sleep could you need?" His father asked, exasperated.

"Dad. You don't understand. To teenagers, sleep is a hobby AND a necessity. Sleep is fun."

"Why don't you go outside. Play some quidditch. Call Freddie and Louis. Don't sleep away you summer."

"But, but I want to!" Sigh.

"Fine. Whatever."


	12. Teenager Facts 6: Music is a Best Friend

_Teenaer Facts_

_**6. Music is a Best friend- Roxie**_

"Roxie?" No answer. "Roxie?" Again no answer. "Roxanne!" No answer. "ROXANNE ALICIA WEASLEY!"

"Geez Dad, you don't have to yell. What?"

"I have been calling you name for about 2 minutes. Will you please take off those stupid headphones and come help me at the shop?"

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy. You just don't understand. Music understands me. It gets me, unlike you or mom. And my headphones are NOT stupid. They are fabulous; after all I did customize them myself." George sighed and rubbed a hand down his face.

"Ok I apologize. Your headphones are not stupid. Will you please take off the headphones and come help me?"

"No. Go ask Fred, I'm busy with my music." She put the headphones back on and cranked up the volume. Soon she heard no more music as she was yanked up off the couch and shoved toward the fireplace. Looks like she'll be at the shop anyway.


	13. Teenager Facts 7: A Day without a phone

_Teenager Facts_

_**7. Can't go a day without phone- Vicky**_

"I hate being grounded. It's horrible being without my phone. What if Matt texted me and I don't answer. He'll think I'm mad at him or that I want to break up! This is bad! Dom let me use you phone!" As you could probably tell, Victoire (aka Vicky) was grounded. Long story short, she tried to sneak out and she got caught. Now she was "dying".

"Uh, no. If dad sees you with a phone he'll know it's mine and I'll get in trouble to. So no," her sister replied.

"PLEASE! I'm dying! Hugo! Let me use your phone!"

"Nope."

"Lucy?"

"Hell no!"

"Rose?"

"Non."

"Roxie?"

"Nope."

"Someone, PLEASE LET ME USE THEIR PHONE!"


	14. Teenager Facts 8: Food

_Teenager Facts_

8. Can't stand to see the refrigerator empty- Teddy

"How come when ever I come for a visit, there is nothing to eat?" Teddy said as he stuck his head in the fridge. Al and Jamie looked at each other and rolled their eyes.

"Maybe you should go back to your _own apartment_." Lily suggested testily.

"Nah. Katie's on a rampage today. It's kind of scary…" Lily sighed.

"I'll fix that." She turned and left the kitchen.

"So what do you guys eat around here? You two are growing boys, what do you eat?"

"We're not telling you! If we did all the food would be gone in a minute!" Al said exasperatedly.

"I'm a half werewolf! I need food!" Suddenly Lily came stomping back into the kitchen with an angry black woman in tow.

"Teddy Remus Potter! Come home right now! What are you even doing here!? You said you had to work!" She shouted angrily, her engagement ring glinting in the light.

"Um, well, you see…"

"Nope! I don't care! Now come on!" She walked up to him and grabbed his ear like a little kid and marched him out of the kitchen. Teddy howled all the way. Jamie and Al smiled at their sister.

"You are an evil little girl."


	15. Chapter 15

**Sorry it's super short. Still don't own Harry Potter**

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**Teenager Post # 6315: Mom: Why is your room always so messy? Me: so that if someone comes in and tries to kill me, they'll trip over something and die.**

Silence. Thump. "HUGO!"

"Yes mom?"

"Why is your room such a mess?'

"Well something has to stop the kidnappers! Why were you in here anyway?"

"Clean. This. Up. NOW."

"… Yes ma'am…"

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**Tell me, Who do you guys want to see next? **


	16. Chapter 16

**Since I'm trying to procrastinate on my homework, here's another chapter featuring Rose Weasley as requested by **_**Casual Randomness. P.s. I love you username… :3**_

**Disclaimer: I'm black not white. I'm American not British. Therefore I am not J.K. Rowling and I don't own HP…**

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"Rose, this is so stupid."

"I don't care! And you Promised, Al" *Sigh*

"Fine." Al Potter walked out of the living room and into the kitchen. From the living room he heard,

"Ok Al! I'm ready!" Al sighed again and walked back in. In front of him was a giant, comfy armchair that swiveled around to meet him.

"I've been expecting you, Albus Potter." Al rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Rose Weasley, you are a piece of work. Did you know that? "

"Don't judge me! I've always wanted to do that!"

"Oh, I'm _totally _judging you."

_**Teenager Post #314: I've always wanted to turn around in a big chair and say, "I've been expecting you..."**_

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And I'm still taking requests! Who would you like to see? :3


	17. Chapter 17

**Here's another one! This was fun to write…**

**And again, I don't own Harry Potter**

**oh and there is one cuss word in this chapter.**

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Roxie Weasley was irritated; very irritated. She had woke up late, missed breakfast, was late for class, and now she had a detention with Professor Johnson _because_ she was late to said class. (And no, Professor Johnson was not related to her. Merlin forbid he was, that asshole.) All Roxie was trying to do was get to lunch; she was starving. As she walked towards the Great Hall, she got stuck behind one of those freakishly annoying couples that hold hands and spread out in the hallway and walked slow but just fast enough that you cant get around them. Finally, Roxie had had enough.

"OH MY GOD! WILL YOU GET OUT OF MY FREAKING WAY!?" She yelled, her darker skin flushing. The couple in question turned to look at her.

"Geez Rox, what a nice way to ask. Of course we'll go slower." Her twin brother smirked at her while his girlfriend (aka Roxie's best friend) snickered. Roxie growled and flipped her brother the bird as she stomped her way towards lunch with her kinky black hair following her.

"STAY AWAY FROM ME, FREDDIE!"

**Teenager post #3199: That extremely annoying moment when you're behind a slow walker and there is no way around them.**

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And of course. still taking requests. :)


	18. 13 Most Common Lies Part 1

**13 Most Common Lies: Part 1/13**

**_1. I won't Laugh. I promise_**

James walked into the Gryffindor common room looking traumatized. Freddie and Roxie looked at each other in confusion.

"What's wrong with you?" They asked together. Jamie shook his head.

"That was terrible. A… third year tried to kiss me." The twins raised and eyebrow at their cousin.

"Who was it?" Roxie asked.

"We won't laugh. We promise," Freddie said. Jamie sighed and sat down with a huff.

"Fine. It was… Kade Malfoy…" It was silent for a second before uproarious laughter was heard.

"Kade? As in Kaden? Blonde, gay boy about 5'3"? Sorpius' little brother? Slytherin? Bahaahahahahaah!" The sixth year Potter boy glared at his cousins.

"I think someone slipped him a love potion… ARE YOU TWO DONE YET!?" Random bouts of laughter could still be heard throughout Gryffindor Tower 3 hours later…


	19. 13 Most Common Lies Part 2

**13 Most Common Lies: Part 2/13**

_**2. Your table will be ready in a few minutes.**_

Molly, Lucy, Victoire, and Dominique Weasley were having a sister/cousin night out. They were currently in muggle London waiting to get into a restaurant. Molly walked up to the Hostess Station.

"Hi. Weasley, table of 4," she spoke sweetly. The hostess looked at her with distaste. She smacked her gum loudly.

"Right…" She drawled. "It's gonna be a few minutes. You can sit over there." Molly turned and walked back to the other girl. They sat there awhile and watched three other groups (who had gotten there after them and had more people) be seated. They watched five other groups come out. Angry, Molly stomped over to the Hostess station once again.

"We've been here for over an hour! When are we going to get a table!?"

"It's gonna be a few more minutes, ma'am."

"This is BS! Come on girls! We're going to McDonald's!"


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